** 1st of Nov 2007

Today is the 1st day of Nov, my grandma is sill in the hospital tml she having operation.

Hope my grandma will b fine.

*** 28 Oct 2007

Today is a very sad day, my grandma is in hospital cos of heartbeat very slow, den Doc operation on her throat so that she can breathe properly. I call my cousin to inform her, I knw she was crying, so do i... I blame myself toking nonsense on Friday. Now den i know wats the feeling wen u nearly lose a love ones... Story is like tis, every Thurs & Fri she always came my hse till evening, den I was quite late for my wrk but she tell mi she vomiting & wen I touch her hand it was very cold even her legs oso.. den I go prepared my tings I go check on her again her face oso cold, wen i ask her will she cold yet she say no, den I quickly wake my sleeping Brother up, I say Ah ma like gg to ....... Mi & my big mouth, den today my father bring her to c doc, doc say her heartbeat very slow, no strength, need operation... On her throat, she is a gd Ah Ma, although nagging & troublesome but she is old yet I sumtimes still tok back to her, saying her nagging & troublesome. I still rem wen I was young she look after mi for fews year den after that my mom tt side grandma look after mi till I quite big..My mom grandma is @ Austrilla as my mom is an Austrilian so my grandma stay there. Now I hope my grandma recover soon & oso hope my mom tt side Grandma will come here for holiday or I hv the time & money I can go look for her in Aust to accompany her more...
God pls dun take my Ah Ma away... Pls..... I love my grandmas...
Pls treasure whoever is yr love one, dun wait till u g to or nearly lose them den u will regret...

27 Oct 2007 1.28am

Today is a tiring night, I had spend my money all gone, I dunno even know wat i spending.. I just saw a comment which my sis gv mi, is not I dun wan to say, I reali dun feel like saying, I said le, i rather keep to myself be alone or wif Mary. Even Mary oso dun reali understand wat I'm tinking now. Everything come fast go oso fast, I onli hope u all get fine, b happy... we r all grown up as u say,but i nv ever forget on Yiling bday.. I make them cant slp ma, but I was sick, if I dun turn up, they will tink i giving excuses again, but wen I turn up wat did I get, get tease by them even Yiling brother, haha u know wat I did I just act blur & keep quiet all the way till the wedding finish. I dure it, onli Mary know that I was angry & dissapointed aldy. U should hv know cos wen u cum I oso nv tok to u ma, u oso like to tease mi, but I just keep quiet to prevent it. I still will avoid u all if I saw all of u.. Take care my sis...

25 Oct 2007 2.00AM

Yeah, finally I can suft net @ hm. Just now went to Funan IT Mall to exchange my network card, I tot is my laptop problem, luckily is not.. Is so late le, but I still cant slp, Y,Y,Y????? Y like that? I should b sleeping now, tml got wrk.. i miss somebody... tinking of tml alot of thing to do.
Just now after i went to Funan, I go mit my sister Mary, we tok alot, I saw Jane I miss her, yesterday wen i saw her I feel like hugging her like we young times used to hug each other wen we r sad, Let mi group all of them by oldest to the youngest: Ah Gal the peaceful & the most nagging, San San the shortest & the most harsh type wen she drunk, Mi the sensitive type & petty type of cos the useless type, Big Winnie the sexy type bt now she having some problems hope she will b strong, Jane the funniest & lots of funny ideas she can hold her liquor very damn well lo, Small Winnie the most know how to entertain ppl although she like to tease mi which I dun like but I still keep her in my mind mean all of them, Mary she got lots of problems & dun like to KPO, she always wif mi wen I feeling very down or sad, Candy although know her not very well bt i treat her as sis too, she & Big Winnie fall out b4 but now ok le, I'm so happy for them, she is mummy now, hope she is doing very well, Yiling the bunny, oso gg to b mummy soon, & hv a caring husband & family, so envy her, she is the onli one, her wedding I was there till finish except staying @ the hotel. ( Am I describe correctly?) We used to do alot of things together, miss the days so much. Now I was avoiding them unless saw them I cant run away. But I will try not to appear in front of them, i dun wan them to shun mi again, I cannot take it, but even though mit up, oso nothing to tok. I onli wish to tell them I will keep them in my memories, my heart, even wen I died. Love u all sis forever.. We grow up together, fight, club, pubbing, pong-tang, ........ , of cos stay together awhile @ Yishun, haha it was fun, Jane will cook for us, cos she cook very nice. Her marcoroni, sambal kang kong, our most favorite, our pinic @ east coast, our sadness day @ Boat Quay, our fun @ DBL O.. Its was so fun cant tok finish all this thing. Sister forever....

23 Oct 2007 (3.24pm)

I was very angry I tell myself not to c HIS profile but I cannot control myself, yet I'm right, HIS featured friends already being replaced by other young & Cutie gals, HE confirm say is HIS god-Sis, haha very funny. Forget it, I knew it, slowly HE will got a new GAL of cos I hope HE will find a stable wan, not sensitive like mi & will not throw temper on HIM, I wan HIM to b happy instead of HE hope mi to b happy..... I & that guy is nothing lo, yr turn to wake up, U say le ma, you got new gal wat. Anyway that night I already treat u dun love mi anymore le, this is wat u wan & expected.. I gg Bugis next week, yr new gal @ there ma, working... I wun disturb u or her, I have no right to say anything...

23 Oct 2007

Hee, today I nv late for my wrk cos maybe I last nite nv go out ba, my friend ask mi go Boat Quay but I very tired.. My laptop stil spoilt I very bei chey.. Finally my company MSN can use, my friend, Elaine which my best friend @ Motorola she help mi do fix it... I & my friends decided to go Hong Kong either Dec or Jan, but as I scared cold, we go on next year Dec, cos Nov is too rush.. We might go in a group, haha, I dun wan my friend to mistook that I & him... Cos I stil miss HIM, love HIM.. But forget it, I dun feel like tinking anyting which is impossible.. Cos I know is impossible.. Wondering how is HE, cos I know HE is sick but I know got lots of young gals will tk care HIM lo, HE ask mi dun say anything bout HIM den ok, from today onwards u wun c HE or HIM in my blog le.. I will try very best to be happy.. Even cant is oso like that, as long as I know HE is happy can le.. HE now BUSY doing jisaw puzzle for HIS GODSISTER ma.. Or sending friendster comment to J......... here & there... I dun bother anymore le, to prevent myself to get angry...Tml Wed again, Boat Quay again or Dbl O, tml Halloween nite ba.. Scared to drink again, cos next day always hangover.. Blah

22 Oct 2007

I was so angry my network card is spoilt, I cannot suft net @ hm... Sob Sob.. Now I @ my wrk plc playing game, later meeting my sis.. Yeah, my friend ask mi go Hong Kong, he say he sponser mi evrything exept Air-Ticket.. Maybe Nov I can go ba, but muz settle here 1st den go for holiday, maybe I go for short holiday I will forget HIM, I noe my friend treat mi veri gd but no feelingn so let it natural ba. I just hope everything will b fine to mi or HIM.. I wish HE will find a new gf anyway can la, now HE know a new gal ma @ Bugis, ppl so young wat, anyway I hv no right to get jealous or angry.. HE happy can le.. There is nothing to do wif mi anymore le.. Its Over...

19 Oct 2007 Saddening Day

I was surprised that my sis will msg mi, this is wat she send mi.
"Hi my dear Mei,juz gone thru yr blog..reali hapi n glad tt u r missin us..i duno wat reali happen..N mks u drifted fm us further n further away..all of us hv known ea other 4 such e long time..been thru so much..smiles n sorrows..N i'm sure tt u wun b able 2 4gt..and WE wil nv eva b able 2 4gt as wel.wat i can say is,misunderstand,lack of communication,short of understandin..dun avoid fm us..u can juz let yrself out by lettin us understand wat u tink,wat u wans..instead of keepin evrytin to yrself..avoidin us..stop contactin us..such e long time sistership, is nt meant 2 b forgotten like tt..al of us sld try..2 understand..salvage wateva bad situation..rite??Mei,dun u stil rem those daes...those sweet n memorable daes at AMK?wher we fight..we drink..we play..hv al e whole of fun n laughters at AMK?pls Mei,dun gif up like tt..we r stil ther for u..and tt's wat sisters r for...we stil care..and we r concern abt u...at least little of hw r u recently fm others wil oso mks us feels beta..'an xin'. at least we noe tt u r fine..as wel as yr 2 boys..Mei....we can tok tings out..reali hope tt we can go bk ot those days..those unforgetable days...can we??? REM 5157312 ^_^"

I oso wish to b like last time, but is too late... The day after Yiling wedding I already told myself forget it le, I seen through everyone.. Of cos I stil miss u all & love u all, but all this I rather keep in to myself. I not like last time le, everything wil say out..

Love u all always .

18 Oct 2007 Hangover Day

Today I late for my wrk cos last nite I went to O Point for a drink den after that I go Dbl O... I was damn drunk but my sister, Winnie was more drunk den mi. I went to office keep vomiting lo, cannot tahan.... Winnie nv go wrk as I call her she nv answer my call, haiz.. Last nite my ex called mi, he say wanna patch up, but I was confused so I just keep quiet, I do not know watt to do... I still love HIM.. I know we r inpossible but just let it b wat to do, after my this HI-card no money l, I gonna change my number, & gv those who recently close to mi onli. Not those who sian den will call wan... I saw Terance Cao last nite too, he was wif those Ah Beng lo, he very beng oso.. He not that handsome oso lo, so different in TV & outside.. Guys r like that lo.. Now I just wish I got lots of money dne enuff le, as for HIM, HE wanna cum bk HE will. If is mine, is mine.. If HE reali find mi, HE will hv a way to find mi...

15 Oct 2007

Today I was @ hm after that I go mit my sis, Mary.. I was in a bad mood but luckily she is ard mi. Sat I went to O point for a drink wif my friends, I'm gg crazy, I feel like drinking, drink til drunk den go hm reali slp well instead of think other ting, of cos is HIM. I saw the comment HE gv mi, he stated: sorry baby.. i realli did try loving you with all my heart.. haiz.. but realli we have a gap between us.. and u being sensitive.. have made e gap even bigger.. humph.. sorry sorry... Is sorry enuff I dun tink so! I gg crazy le, I used to HIM... Every morning I will saw his msg, & I reali used to it, is wif HIM, hearing HIM calling Baby, but now no more. I hate HIM more now... I oso still love HIM more... Wait for HIM, dun tink so le ba. I just wanna tel him, if reali love mi, pls cherish mi, if dun love mi anymore le, leave mi alone..

11 Oct 2007

Today I very sad damn sad, mi & HIM is over, I'm too senstive, HE is a gd guy is onli I dun trust HIM. HE bring mi to watch movies, den there is a bitch msg HIM, wen I ask who msg HIM, HE tel mi is my god bro, HOck, wen I found out is actually a gal, I so angry till I nv tok to HIM at all. I msg HIM wanna broke off, yet HE say ok lo. HE say HE cannot tahan his gf to b too sensitive, I admit but is too late, HE msg mi say: We give each other some time to tink whether we r suitable anot.. Now we stop seein each other first. Sorry. I know HE do not wish to b wif mi @ all le, cos HE oso younger wif mi quite big gap. Maybe young gals suit HIM, I've nothing to say, Cos I very sad. I cry the whole nitez couldnt slp. I'm sorry I too senstive...

10 Oct 2007

My fever go off le, I so happi the medicine doc give mi very super gd.. Tml my actual bdae, I'm not reali tt happi cos I dunno HE gv mi wat surprised, we been quarrel mani times bcos of my sensitive but HE always gv in, I wanna thank HIM. I was wrking now, today my partner gv mi a big surprise she came very earloy den mi, I tot wat happen, chey is her bf send her to wrk so gd, I wish someone oso will send mi lor, LOL.... I whr got the FU QI... My buddy Brandon Li late for wrk cos he go DragonFly, my boss oso go, heard he drunk haha... Luckily they nv saw mi drunk before. I oso nv c them drunk b4.. I miss my sisters they all, 1 of them giving birth soon, but I dun wanna c her, cos c le, dunno wat to say, I just hope she will tk gd care of herself. Of cos & all of them... How I wish I could rewind the time back to our younger days...

9 Oct 2007 High Fever Day

Today I was having a high fever.. 38.2... Is so horrible, til I dun feel like doing anything but I oso dun wan to stay @ home.. I eat panadol le oso no use, my body oso cannot tk it. Feel like no strength now, body was cold den later hot again.. I wish HE will beside mi...

8 Oct 2007

Today I very angry, wen I reach office I open my friendster I saw HIS profile and HE tk out mi from his featured friends, I know HE had found a new target den kick mi away, fine... I angry wif him cos I was moody on Sat den HE nv reply mi, I say send a msg to HIM say dun bother to reply mi since HE dun wan to reply mi. Den I call HIM HE say HE was playing billiard, den say is I say tell HIM not to call mi, so HE nv call mi... I know beside HIM there is gal beside HIM so HE purposely say like tis, Y muz I met HIM since HE say like this to mi. Guys r reali sucks....EEEEEEEEEEE........

5 Oct 2007 Night night

I go Boat Quay & celebrate my bdae wif my sisters Brother & ...... I'm happi to enjoy wif them of cos got unhappy things happening but forget it, I dun wish to rake it up. I drink quite alot, so I went to relax, after awhile my 2 Jie Jie came, wow, they r damm gd drinker lo, I number 3 among them.. They want mi drink Chivas 5 seconds luckily I nv lose their face but till they order Waterfall I reali cannot make it le, I straight go vomit... Then someone tel mi my sis add Martell in the Waterfall.. No wonder so KICK... I was happy tt HE came & look for mi, I miss HIS hugs but feel HE got change dunno how to say. After that we go other pub, Its was quite bored lo but space very big.. Until 4 plus, Mi, Ziwei, Raymond & Von tk a cab go hm, make mi disappointed is We call Kendre my daughter she dun wan ans us, den I angry go off by ourselves... Wen I reach hm gg to slp, cannot tahan le too tired....

Devils & Angels Story

We known for mani mani years le, lets cut it short. Still rem few months ago we quarrel over my own things, now ok le, cos we r devils & angels ma... I still rem last time we always do thngs together haha, all kind of things... Although sumtimes I dun like her pattern but I used to it slowly, cos she the onli understand wat I wan or wat I need. Wen I gv birth alone, she is the 1st 1 to reach the hospital to acc mi all the way. I so touch till still inside my heart, cos for her sleep is very important, she dun care who wan, she just slp, but on that day she just cum even though she is tired.. But I always so attitude to her, & she oso nv angry, I older den her yet she mature den mi, I onli know if her bad habit (I do not wan to say) cum bk again I dun feel like miting her, but I miss her sumtimes. If got chance of cos I wan to give her a big hug, this auntie temper oso not gd wan, tts y wen we quarrel alot of ppl will run away from us, but if wen we quarrel beside us is our best sis like, Small winnie, Big Winnie, Ah gal, Yiling, Jane, San & Candy comfirm can stop us, cos they know us the best... I wanna say I love u SIS, MISS DEVILS...

5 Oct 2007

Today Winnie my partner on leave, sob sob, I miss her alot man. Nobody beside mi feel weird leh.. I was doing shipment now, so busy without her, nobody acc mi go toilet bian bian.. SOB SOB guess she is sleeping now, tonight gg to celebrate my bday, haha of cos wif my sis they all lo, dunno after tonight wen can still meet up wif them, I miss them alot, miss their laughters, their voices, even their funny funny ideas, haha. They r so cute, so I dote dem alot, tts y I will try my best to protect them... If i cant no use lo, last time I always protect by my SIS, now of misunderstanding we fall apart, so I tell myself muz treasure those little sisters.. I busy now le, I scared OT again..

4 oct 2007

Haiz it is still Thurs, tonight gg to eat steamboat wif my sis, winnie & Ah gal @ amk central. Aiyo eat til I stomachache go hm blast the toliet bowl. Feel so tired till I slp very early, cos last nitez went to DBL O wif my Winnie & of cos Sandy.. I was so scared tt they will check Sandy but luckily nv, maybe she go wif us cos we look old.. HAHA we reali old le, now countdown my bday, feel lack of sumting but I dunno wat is that. Maybe I tink too much, I just wanna to b happi, actually I dun feel like celebrate my bday wan is onli I wan my bday to hv somebody acc mi, I scared I anyhow tink cos wenever I alone I will anyhow tink. I dun wan to cry anymore, my tears is precious, I oso know ppl ard mi dun wan mi to cry, to some of them they feel I strong enuff of cos I must be strong. I dun wan ppl to pity mi, tink that I cry to let ppl pity... Is time to slp le

3 Oct 2007, Ladies Nitez

Today is Wed le, tonight gg to DBL O. Of cos I mit my sister 1st, tt is Sandy..We go AMK food court eat after we go Boat Quay to my sister, Winnie wrking pub. Its was damn boring plc, I just reach thr I feel like sleeping le. Den after Winnie say wait for her till 12 mn den we go together, so we say ok lo. Wen I reach DBL O, alot of ppl, of cos Ang Moh lo, sianz.. R & B songs hv to wait til 1 am plus like tt lo. I drink quite alot cannot tahan, den after that I go hm as my sis friend send mi bk hm... I reach hm I forget to msg HIM or call HIM, HE muz b worri, or maybe he toking or even chating wif other gal leh I oso dunno.. Wen I go on my bed, I cannot tahan le, just slp...

Story of Ni Ni (Winnie) & Mi

On 5 of July 2007, is the 1st day I went back to Motorola & work. TC KOk my manager bring mi around to c how the job is to e done. Den he show mi to the plc whr I seated, I saw 3 person inside, Winnie, Shirley& Lixin. Wen Winnie saw mi, she feel I was very familiar I say to her of cos I last time wrk as receptionist @ downstair & we still go smoke b4. I dun like Shirley in the 1st plc, cos she gv mi a 2.5 cents like I owe her money. So I did not tok much to her, but she keep on quiet that I very hard to learn anything so no choice to tok to her 1st. Slowly I found that she is actually ok is onli she have a mood swing charactor. Wen times pass, Shirely left the company, everything I hv to go on my own luckily I got 1 gd partner haha, Winnie, NINI.. She & mi slowly became best partner, I slowly started to trust her feel that she is my gd listener, even if I in a bad mood, she will endure mi. We will sing, and tok cock in our dept room which make the room hv some noise. We will oso go & smoke everyday after we send all the shipment down to the mail room.. We oso having alot of fun wen we r wrking. She reali my god man, com or Printer & even fax machine got problem she will solved it. U say la, she is god or not???? Whenever she is free, she will watch Crunchyroll.com movies den I call her she nv answer wan muz shouted @ her, dunno she act deaf or wat. I & her sumtimes always go toilet bian bian, haha.. Dunno y hor, always cum the same time. But she always very slow cos her belt lor, haiz, so now I clever I will slowly wash my hand by the time I wash finish she ok liao... haha timing gd hor.
Sometimes we even tok sex topic inside the room, so funni sia, tok till our Auntie Alice oso pai seh, face red red.. Our Boss, Edmund oso very funni he always gv mi or Winnie say or suan.. Let's dun tok bout him. Continue our story...

Winnie & mi will tok everything, dunno y leh... Maybe I trust her ba, we wrk everyday already used to it, I nv come she not used to it, she nv cum i oso cannot used to it. haha...
Got Winnie must have Jennifer, got Jennifer must have Winnie.. Wen Winnie angry, I can feel it, den I got to try to make her laugh, is so easy man, prove that she can dure her temper.. EEEEE, I oso dun wan to c her lost temper comfirm will not cute @ all lo... I will buy for her HL Milk every morning, if I nv I will remind others to help mi nuy for her, see I treat her so gd.....Ok lo, just stop here if i tink of sumting will updated again. Den will b Story of NINI (Winnie) & Mi Part 2....

My Qin Mei Zu Ma.

From I very young tink around baby times ba, my mum put mi wif Nanny staying behind my block. I was so sad that I had to stay with Nanny & with guys, haiz.. So as days pass, I used to it with them, there is this guy, Tan WeiRong. I and him the closest that we even go to same school, although we all the same pri school but some r older den us. I and Weirong go to school together every morning, we r not in the same class. Den he got his own friends while mi oso got my own friends. But sumtimes he always cum my hsetil we grow up.
In secondary school, we r in different school, so we lost contact. But sometimes I will saw him @ the bus stop, dunno Y I nv call him, maybe he is wif his friends or maybe he dun wan to call mi.
Till we become adult, we contact le but he got gf I got bf we hv our own relationships.
I still rem our past but we cut it short.
Recently he married, I rem before he married he will cum & fetch mi after wrk den we will go walk walk den he send mi bk hm. One day he confess to mi he like mi, I do not know wat to do.
Indeed I like him but we know for damn too mani years, in the past we dun dare to be together cos both family known each other, some more I was playful that time. But now suddenly tink of that, if last time I was with him, I wouldn't become like this now so suffering. Haiz...
On 23 Sep 2007, he married le... I was not sad, I was happi for him & wish him happi forever.

2 oct 2007

I was late in the morning to wrk, OMG everyday late. I got too mani wrk to do, its quite tiring & I happily waiting to 5 pm, den mi & Winnie we go SSDC to book Final theory test @ 11 of Dec @ 4.30pm. After that I go Bugis mit HIM, he was playing Billiard wif his friend, the fellow who make us quarrel. Actually till now I dunno wanna trust him or believe HIM whatever things he say & do. I just wan to b happi , tts all, I dun wan hope for anything. I went hm ard 11 plus, so tiiring, I tk 851 to amk, damn fuck I sit on the seat near the window there is 2 small cockroaches, I nearly shouted lo, LOL luckily sitting beside mi the fellow reach his stop, den I change seat. Feel like sleeping but scared the cockroaches anyhow walk den walk to my plc, haha... Wen I reach hm, my stomach suddenly very cramp cannot tahan den I go tk panadol to relieve the pain, after that I go slp after calling HIM.

I reali hope after my birthday I will knw who is my real Sis, Bro or Friends even Daughter!!!!

1 Oct 2007 Love my Daughter, Kendre

; Kendre says:
Mommy, I where got never treat you as my mommy? You my mommy so long already you should know I'm always so playful one right? But yes though now , I also dont know what happen. I can feel the drift in us already. Maybe cos you think I always mix with guys. Then you always disturb me, yes I dont like it cos you always say until I really no boys can die like that. But am I actually like this?
; Kendre says:
I also dont want us to drift right, for so long you've been loving and caring for me. Of course I dont want you to leave me luh. I call you mommy, call you long already. Majiam you really my real mommy already. Im sure you also dont want leave me one right? So now, we have to meet up more often like last time already and start patching things up okay? I still love you and I'll care for you more.
; Kendre says:
I wont leave you one alright? Sorry for making you disappointed mii. I still love you no matter what ..


This is wat my daughter say, & I reali very touched. Its oso my fault that, I keep teasing her. I should trust her.. Cos she my onli daughter, no one else. I scared she being hurt or give ppl say. I knw my brother like her but I already try to find a way to stop this. Haiz

1 Oct 2007

Today was a happi day, so everything goes smooth. After work I go central mit my sister, Devils. We go AMK Hub shopping, den I do not know wat to buy so I never buy anyting. Wen I reach hm I found out I was having a slight fever, so I went to slp early. But after that, I was very angry wif HIM, due to some problem... Since HE say no, wat can I say, I just keep quiet lo. After that I went to bed, keep tossing ard can't slp @ all. Keep tinking wat should I do, Should I trust HIM. I just trust HIM since he insisting NO, I dunno wat to do anyway le. Tml will b fine....
Just hv a nice slp can le